Choosing Joy, Practising Gratitude

What contributes most to our happiness and wellbeing?

This question has been quietly guiding me through March and April, and once again, a book placed the answer gently - but firmly - in my path. Brilliant Positive Psychology by Charlotte Style truly hit another nail on the head.

I found myself completely absorbed, especially in Chapter 9, Positive Health: How to Build Physical Well-being and Live Longer. It spoke directly to a long-standing part of my life - the curiosity and commitment to physical wellbeing that began years ago when I first stepped into the gym with my personal trainer. Looking back now, I can see how those early influences shaped not just my habits, but my mindset.

Chapter 10, Putting Positive Psychology to Work at Work, invited a different kind of reflection. It helped me reframe my journey through hospitality. I didn’t walk away because I failed or gave up - I walked away because I recognised environments that were no longer healthy or within my power to repair. That realisation feels important. Growth often asks us to leave behind what no longer aligns.

But it was the afterword that truly brought everything together.

At this point in my life, I understand something more deeply than ever before: we choose how we think, how we feel, and how we act. Life is not about arriving somewhere perfect - it’s about the path we walk, and how we walk it.

Out of the thirteen suggestions offered at the end of the book, one stood out to me: choose to have more fun.

And that gave me pause.

Because if I’m honest, it’s probably what my husband and children would say too—that life isn’t only about discipline and doing, but also about enjoying, laughing, and being present in the moment. They bring that lightness into my world in a way that gently reminds me to loosen my grip sometimes.

It also made me smile when I thought about the kinds of things I’ve written in my sister’s birthday card this year - little ideas of how we might spend time together. Pilates classes, boot camp and coffee shop chats have featured, but perhaps it’s time to mix it up a bit. A day at a theme park, bowling, or even pottery painting - something a little more playful, a little less structured, and just as meaningful.

Charlotte Style also reflects on the complexity of human flourishing - how it isn’t something we simply learn, but something we practise. It lives in our stories, our relationships, and our willingness to reflect and act with intention.

I see that truth in everyday life.

When people are happier, they tend to be kinder, more generous, more grateful - and healthier too. And when we open ourselves to growth, compassion, empathy, and connection, the impact reaches far beyond ourselves. Flourishing is never a solo act.

There was also an important note of caution that stayed with me. Research once revealed that low self-esteem was something to fix at all costs, but over time we’ve learned that too much of any one quality, even a positive one, can become unhelpful when it’s out of balance.

It’s a powerful reminder: balance matters.

Just like nutrition - blueberries are good for us, but a diet of only blueberries wouldn’t serve us well (Style's example). Our strengths need variety, challenge, and perspective. When we stretch them in new ways, they grow with us.

Research, as Style reminds us, should inform us - not dictate us. Ultimately, our choices shape the quality of our lives.

One idea I loved was her reflection on creativity - not as something reserved for artists, but as something woven into everyday living. Every action has the potential to create a moment.

And sometimes, those moments are unexpectedly beautiful.

On Sunday, walking to the shops, I passed a little girl with her mum. The mum was momentarily absorbed in her phone, but the little girl looked straight at me, beamed, and said, “Happy Easter.”

It was simple. Genuine. Joyful.

I told so many people about that moment that day, because it truly lifted me. And yet, I wish I had told the little girl - right then - that she had made my day.

Perhaps that’s part of the practice too: not just noticing the good, but expressing it.

As we approach Mother’s Day - in Germany, it's in May - I find myself reflecting with deep gratitude. For the encouragement, the patience, the belief, and the quiet strength my mum has given me throughout my life. She has been one of my greatest enablers and supporters, shaping not just what I’ve done, but who I’ve become. So much of what I value - resilience, care for others, and the importance of keeping going - has its roots in her.

Style closes with a quote that feels like the perfect place to pause:

“Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will create the fact.”

And when I think about the stories that have stayed with me over the years - accounts of resilience, survival, and perspective - they all echo this in different ways. They remind me not just of what people can endure, but of the strength of the human spirit and the importance of how we choose to see our own lives.

And I think that’s exactly it.

We choose. Every day.